How to Practice Vulnerability (Without Fear of Overexposure)
Vulnerability is the courage to show up as your real self, even when it feels risky. It’s the foundation of deep connections, creativity, and resilience (as Brené Brown’s research shows). Here’s how to practice it wisely:
1. Start Small & Safe
Build “vulnerability muscles” gradually:
- Share a minor insecurity with a trusted friend (“I felt really nervous before that presentation”).
- Admit you don’t know something (“I’ve never heard of that—can you explain?”).
- Try a new hobby in front of others (“This is my first pottery class—I might be terrible!”).
Why it works: Small risks teach your brain that vulnerability isn’t dangerous.
2. Use the “Vulnerability Hierarchy”
Not all relationships deserve equal openness. Match depth to trust level:
| Trust Level | Example Shares |
|---|---|
| Acquaintance | “I’m a bit tired today.” |
| Friend | “I’ve been stressed about money lately.” |
| Close Loved One | “I worry I’m not a good enough parent.” |
Rule of thumb: If someone hasn’t earned your story, don’t give them the sequel.
3. Scripts for Tough Moments
To express needs:
“I’m struggling with ______. What I need from you is ______.”
(Example: “I’m struggling with loneliness. What I need is a weekly check-in call.”)
To admit mistakes:
“I messed up by ______. I’m working on ______ to fix it.”
To set boundaries vulnerably:
“It’s hard for me to say this, but I need to ______ for my mental health.”
4. Handle Reactions Wisely
- If met with support: Lean in (“Thank you for listening—that means a lot”).
- If met with dismissal: Protect your heart, but don’t assume it’s about you (Some people lack emotional capacity).
- If you feel shame after: Self-soothe (“This was brave. Their reaction doesn’t define me.”).
5. Brené Brown’s Golden Rules
- Vulnerability ≠ Oversharing: Don’t process trauma with strangers.
- Trust = Consistency + Time: Notice who shows up for you repeatedly.
- No vulnerability without boundaries: “I’ll share my divorce story, but not the details.”
6. Daily Vulnerability Workouts
- Journal prompts: “What’s one truth I’m avoiding saying out loud?”
- Artistic expression: Paint/write/dance something personal.
- Ask for help: “Can you teach me how to ______?”
Remember: Vulnerability is selective courage, not compulsory confession.